I know I'm a few years late....

But I'm really enjoying this CD right now:



Look at that fuckin' tiger man!

Here’s something that may surprise you. Every year around July or so I get too wound up in a television series. It’s never intentional, but just usually looks that way, as I end spending so much money and way too much time watching and obsessing over something that it has to be the result of years of neurosis-fueled planning.

Last year it was the HBO Western Deadwood (of which I’m still waiting on having an ending that doesn’t include the adjectives “fucking”, “disappointing” and “on a cunt-vessellish scale”). This year it was The Wire.

I don’t need to tell you how great these shows are. You already know that one is one of the defining creations of 21^st century art we’ve seen, and the other has Kristen Bell as a 19^th Century prostitute. Sure, I’d rather something from the ‘shaved underarms’ era, but I’m willing to take what I can get.

Both of them practically demand obsession from their viewers, not only because of their addictiveness, but also in the way that they refuse to let the viewer miss even one episode (seriously, how do you explain to someone how that man was killed? The one in the convenience store? That’s something you have to see with your own eyes.)

It’s a pretty good argument for dismantling the practice of using cliff hangers. Neither The Wire nor Deadwood really used them, and they had some of the most rewarding storylines on television. I mean all you need are relatable characters, a fantastic premise, a story that pays off in the long run, the money and talent to make the vision work, the….ahhh forget it, just throw in a pregnancy scare.

I don’t realize it yet (yet I’m still typing this, what a pardox), but watching the entirety of these shows at the one time is probably the worst thing I could do. See, the quality of these programmes inevitably combine with my natural need to become too attached to something, and before you know it I’m trying to grow a moustache like Sheriff Bullock or walking around yelling “Red Tops yall, got them Red Tops.”

Now, here’s something that- considering the first sentence I wrote- probably doesn’t surprise you as much. Every year around the beginning of December I end up getting too wound up in another television series. It’s never intentional, but just usually comes out that way. Last year it was Veronica Mars, this year it was the Shield (which for the record, has one of the best endings to any T.V show ever)

It doesn’t start with me whispering ‘Mars’ everytime Elvis Costello says ‘Veronica’ in the oddly named Veronica, or seriously considering shaving up head and putting on about 150 pounds, but such unlikely changes inevitably happen (expect for the last one, I couldn’t find a weight gainer that tasted nice).

The fantastic thing about all these shows (other than the way they promote poorly grown moustaches) is how well they work on DVD. I can’t imagine having to watch something as multifaceted and cultivating-to-obsession as The Wire (considering that my memory has a sieve like quality and that there were was at one stage a two year gap between seasons three and four).

The wait for new episodes would be insane, especially considering that Australian TV has adopted a “If it’s not popular within two weeks then cancel!” approach to programming (in addition to their already hostile programming of brilliant shows).

It might be an easy way out (especially in an age where everything can be found online within seconds), but I think I can blame (or maybe thank) the build up of shows I haven’t seen on Australian TV. Of these four programmes, three of them were fleetingly shown over here. The Wire and the The Shield made it through their first seasons at a timeslot only idiots, people looking to buy cheap compilations on 80’s music and the criminally insane would be up in. Since the latter two where too busy listening to “Kyrie” by the Cutting Crew and plotting their latest world domineering schemes to watch conventional television, the late timeslot meant that only idiots watched two of the greatest shows ever.

Veronica Mars was kicked around timeslots for it’s first two and a half seasons, before eventually cancelled altogether (with about seven episodes left. Classy move!). Deadwood didn’t even make it onto public television (which isn’t really that surprising considering...well...everything about Deadwood.)

What I’m trying to say is that there’s something wonderful about being ignorant of popular culture- it doesn’t matter if this ignorance is because of myself or some outside factor, either way stupidity pays off. I knew that The Shield and The Wire existed before this year (even though my memories of them focused on African-American youth saying naughty words a lot), but I never really felt the need to watch them.

Right now I’m doing the same thing, only now it’s consciously. I’m fully aware that Mad Men is an amazing show. I’ve seen a couple of episodes and been absolutely captivated by the aesthetic, the premise and the way that people in the advertising industry used to hold themselves. But I’m not ready to watch all of it yet. I’m waiting until I can sit down and watch all how-ever-many seasons it runs for at the one time.

But just like I imagine the case is with murder, pre-meditated has nothing over spur of the moment discovery and action. See, lately I’ve been trying to read more comics. I mean real, comics, not ‘graphic novel’ stuff like Jimmy Corrigan, but honest to god stuff like Preacher and The Walking Dead. Stuff where heads explodes and kids have faces like arses. It’s kind of nice to have a whole five year backlog just sitting there waiting for me to read, and it makes it a hell of a lot easier to get into a new story and find something relatable in a character who makes a policeman literally fuck himself.

Maybe the best thing ever in the universe

MATT TAIBBI is a master of satire!

So, wait, this isn't real?
I thought fart jokes and rolling stone were the epitome of political humor!


http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/25329027

ATTN: Ryan Adams

Stop going into the past and stealing my song ideas. I WANTED TO WRITE A SONG ABOUT SYLVIA PLATH!

PS: Yours would have been better anyway.

The future of music:

Really, what the fuck is up with this? One minute they're talking about girls taking their panties off in a club, then the bridge hits and they're yelling 'liar' and choking them. That is most unparty like. It's like bi-polar disorder in a song.




PS: Stay off the grass! The gardener has a terrible temper.

PPS: After hearing the second dude I no longer have the most nasal voice in the world!

I am seriously considering changing my url to:

bengibbardgotmadgame.blogspot.com (PS. DON'T STEAL THIS URL)

I'd suggest giving the man a medal, but damnit he already has something better.