I recently had the chance to see the new Batman movie. Don’t ask me how. Or why several movie executives continually call my house asking for more sexual favours.
What matters is that the movie is surprising. And I, being ever generous, have decided to relay these surprise to you in an article cleverly called: Top ten surprises in the new Batman film.
10. Due to long delays, contains frequent references to ‘those damn commies’
9. Batman’s new sidekick is The Negotiator, adept at haggling for the cheapest possible price.
8. Due to budget difficulties, Utility belt now called the “Save 40% by switching to Geico” belt
7. Is actually a parable about the reunion of the Police
6. Due to rising fuel prices, Batmobile now has a carpool.
5. Crime fighting now interferes with Batman’s true passion- writing fan scripts for Lipstick Jungle. Am I right ladies?
4. To distract from his death, humorous sound effect is played every time Heath Ledger is on screen.
3. Homosexual overtones are now so thinly veiled you can see them protruding from Batman’s suit.
2. Due to obesity, Batman’s main weapon now the ‘stomach of doom’
1. Several theater goers die due to overzealous viral marketing.
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