Life officially worth living until October Third.

All bets off after that.

Also, Ryan Adams is awesome and I would totally kill for that hair.

LAUREN CONRAD ZINGER OF THE CENTURY!!!!!

Letterman: He just kept on looking at his watch. Like he expected somebody to talk about it.

LC: He ws probably checking his fifteen minutes.

Verdict: I'd hit it if she kept her mouth shut and wrote jokes for me.

Three things

1- When I'm crowned biggest loser in the universe/ ruler of all known beings, I'm going to appoint Brad McKewan and Sandra Sully as my court jesters. Those two are classic comedy, I wish life was like a sitcom and those two would get together. I think they would be so happy together.

Oh god, I'm becoming my grandmother.

2-Problems with this interview:

http://www.avclub.com/content/interview/jenny_lewis

Does not start with "Jenny, your new CD is awesome, how awesome is your new CD?"

Follow up question is not "Jenny, your boyfriend sucks, how much does your boyfriend suck?"

Does not end with Genevive asking "So...Have you even talked to girls over the phone...you know...like that?"

Oh god...Excuse me.

TEN MINUTES LATER

Okay, sorry, I had to...um...feed the cat.


3- Vodka is the only achcohol that smells like Drunkenness. I swear to god.

Brothers in Arms.

Last night I finished Brothers In Arms: Hell Highway. As well as teaching me about how Germany managed to halt the Allied advance for so long (they put thin pieces of tin over staircases and glued doors so they couldn’t be opened. Genius) and containing a level that lived up to the games name (holy shit did that have some atmosphere) it taught me something about myself.



See, 90% of Brothers in Arms was squad combat. More than that, it was squad combat done really damn good. The way the camera zoomed out was very Full Spectrum Warrior, and it wandered that line between shooter and command-based game like its stablemates couldn’t do (seriously, Ubisoft must have a trademark on that genre or something). The tactics the game tries to teach you work, and they make it fun to yell "Krauts in the open! Fire for effect!" like you're actually in WWII, and not some loser yelling at TV at 2.AM

Sure, the story made no fucking sense, but that was because I didn’t feel like going back to play games that were four years old. Instead I just substituted the characters for their Band of Brothers counterparts. The main dude became Winters, the redheaded dude was Nixon (although he got shot!) and the world was happy. They were a part of the greatest generation. The Germans were dead. I had the Band of Brothers game I always wanted.

Things were okay. Right? Right?

No, because videogames –unlike ever other genre of entertainment- force you to consume something that you didn’t pay for.
What am I referring to? The tank missions. The tank missions featuring that stupid Brit.
Okay, so in truth they weren’t that bad. On their own they’d probably be kind of enjoyable. But they weren’t something that I paid $80 dollars for. They were exactly what they were meant to be- enjoyable diversions (and that's my problem).


Yeah, you can say it’s to give me a break from the monotony, but you know what? The game shouldn’t need to be monotonous, and if I feel like I need a break I know where the fucking off switch off.
See developer, you’re not only shortchanging me, but you’re compromising your artistic vision.
Darkness on the Edge of Town doesn’t feature a disco song to break up Springsteen’s take on life for youth in the city. There Will be Blood doesn’t contain a monologue about how zany the oil industry is, because that would be stupid (and totally contrary to what it was trying to accomplish).


So, I guess my question is, why do videogames feel the need to give us things that we didn’t pay for?

I mean, it's obvious that Brothers in Arms is trying to be a gritty look at comradeship and the effects war has on people, so why aren't they communicating that through every aspect of their game?

I don’t mean to be too critical of Gearbox software, mainly because it’s not really its fault. It did most things right, had some great levels, some interesting gimmicks (although I kind of expected the dead kid to flash up on the screen, it was still cool when they actually did it) and gameplay that knocks anything else in the genre out of the park.
It anything, it’s problem endemic in videogames. It reeks of an industry that’s too scared keep a vision cohesive.

You'd be Surprised.

So, the stock markets are in a competition with McCain to see who can hit the ground first!

No, but seriously, it’s been a good day for the McCain camp. First it was ruled that Sarah Palin was innocent of abusing her power, then it was ruled McCain had no role in the Horse of Troy attack. BECAUSE HE’S OLD!

McCain made controversy in the second Presidential debate this week by referring to Senator Obama as ‘that one’. Well, I guess it’s a slight improvement over ‘gook’..

It’s been announced that while Pregnant women may have mood swings and cravings, they don’t become more forgetful. However, it’s been revealed that couples do become forgetful in the minutes leading up to conception, which is the problem in the first place.

Speaking of kids, a new report says that life expectancy for children is decreasing. A spokesperson was quoted as saying that “This was not a legacy we wanted to leave our children.” The good news? If it keeps decreasing then we won’t be. They’ll be gone before us.

It was revealed that the names of 100,000 British servicemen may have fallen into terrorist hands. Still, I wouldn’t worry I don’t think the terrorists were that smart.
Get this, among the names was the revelation that Princes William an Harry reside in Buckingham Palace.

In local news, Kevin Rudd announced that the government was considering bumping the GST up to 12%

Oh, good, right up there with his approval rating,

One Year Old!

Here's an interesting fact: If you assume that each one of my 108 posts is worth 600 KM, then in one year I've created the blog equivalent of the Great Wall of China. This means that in one year my references to self loathing and masturbating to Jenna Fischer have achieved more than one millennia of Chinese dynasties were able to.

How does that make you feel?

In other news, my third album is finished. Yeah, I didn't think you'd care, but this is my space.

Finally: Find the irony in this page. https://ipac.lib.utas.edu.au/ipac20/ipac.jsp?session=12S3X5951429P.88617&menu=search&aspect=basic_search&npp=10&ipp=20&spp=20&profile=cent&ri=&index=.GW&term=copywriting&x=0&y=0&aspect=basic_search

Yeah, I laughed like a drunken sailor. Well, like I was drunk and my hands were full of seamen. I'm Kidding! I never drink on Thursday nights!

FINALLY! SHE AND HIM FANFIC!

The show was over. The fans had retired to post their setlists, and the musicians to their cosy hotel apartments. Zooey squeezed into a tiny black number- so tiny that it couldn’t be considered a number, more like one of those decimal points that go between numbers on a pitchfork review
Her body flowed out of it like a glass of water having an anvil dropped in it.

“I want you M. I want to know everything about you. Your love of demented chords, why you never let me go into the studio when we were meant to be recording the album. What your real name is, I’m sick of calling you M.”

“I can’t Zooey. We’ve discussed this before.”

“But that was different! I’m writing my own songs now. Soon everyone will know!”

“I…I…I..Can’t. It’s too hard.”

Her eyes burnt with the might of a million angry blogposts. He saw it, and she saw him seeing it. It was inevitable that they would end in the throes of passion

She stood in front of him, her nipples showing like Nickels sparkling on asphalt on a really bright day
"Okay" he relented. "But call me Conor."