Attn Jay Jay's: I hate you and your stupid t-shirts.

Jay Jay's, by my astute observations, seem to be the Australian equivlent of Hot Topic (meanwhile being in steadfast denial of this), and intent on making the seventh circle of hell look like some garishly coloured Pie-Chart. Much like Comedy Inc (or any other Australian comedy show) they just pick the most popular thing that other people are doing and follow it. Kind of ironic that a business has a philosophy so similar to their consumer base.
There are three products in their 'me too' brand of clothing that are paticularly bad, yet irrefutably, and inexplicably popular. And these are what we're here to talk about.

1) (Artistic recreation)



So today I'm reading the paper, and I see a picture of Led Zeppelin pre vomit-choke related breakup. Robert Plant has nothing but a tambourine, and seems pretty happy with his decision. Jimmy Page on the other hand has an Double Necked 18 string guitar. This is the equivlent of wearing one of these shirts. Okay, so in truth it's not, becasue nobody wearing these shirts could rip a Pentatonic like like Mr Page, but the statement stands, you are fucking conpemsating for something. I mean, has this helped anyone in getting a girl? Or even in starting any conversation that didn't start with 'So what are you trying to make up for?'?
Funny, for all the faux-parody warning signs, the only one that they don't make is one that says 'Avoid me like the fucking plague'.



Jay Jay's: stocking the freshest in vintage T-shirts (fresh off a boat from China). This year it seems to be all about the videogames. Or rather, the illusion that wearing a Nintendo shirt that looks old is somehow cooler to wearing a normal Nintendo shirt, or even admitting that you know what a 'Nintendo' is. Unless they're meant to be ironic, which isn't that likely.



Now, I'm a perfectly reasonable guy, and generally when I see a T-shirt with a humoursly altered saying or road sign that implicates the wearer if gifted sexually* I only get a vague sense of rage, accompanied by an overwhelming amount of sympthy (Or both the wearer and everyone within eyeshot, see I'm a humanitarian!).
Now, don't get me wrong, I think that teenage suicide and depression is on a humour scale matched only by the Holocaust and people who people who take the Shins seriously, but I have to question the wisdom of wearing said message on a t-shirt.

That being, I have some suggestions for the writers of Jay Jay's T-shirts* Maybe they could use this as a springboard to make fun of other significant issues in youth culture! I mean, why hasn't something been done on Drug Abuse? Or Teen Poverty? Those subjects are fucking hilarious!
Here, you can have this one for free:


See, it's kind of meta, if only for my limited Paint Skills.



Also, during my search for pictures, I also came upon this:


Dude, Cosplay is bad enough, but having to carry around a picture to make aware aware of said crossdressing is just horrendous.


*Or that the viewer is ungifted. Women, you are aware that 'You Couldn't Afford It' infers to me that you are a prostitute? And that I couldn't afford the measly ammount of cocaine nessecry to conduct said transaction?

*Okay, so in truth they don't have writers, they just steal things off the internet. Hey! Just like me!