Friday, March 28, 2008

Oh Dear God, Is this moron doing one of these every week?

So I’m talking to this girl, and she casually mentions on she enjoys watching The Office. So I say ‘Yeah, I love it too, hell, I jerked off of to Jenna Fischer the other night.’

Wow, talk about awkward. Turns out she was talking about the British one...

No, look, I know that I say creepy and weird stuff a lot of the time, but I really am a nice guy. I often hear girls saying that I’m ‘nice’ and ‘non threatening’. At least, I think they’re saying those things, I don’t know, sometime the wire tap has a lot of static over it.

Turns out that Barack Obama is a distant relative of Brad Pitt. Now, I don’t mean to sound mean, but that makes me hope that he loses the election. I mean, how unfair would it be to have the US President and the dude banging Angelina Joile in the one family?

It’s bullshit I tells ya.

So, new research shows that the obese are three times as likely to develop dementia. So dunno, I guess that goes that a little way to explaining Rosie O’Donnell….

So, a lesbian was killed up in the Northwest over the weekend in a hit and run. Police initially suspected it was an assassination , but then they realized that it wasn’t David Boon that was killed.

No, but sad news, a bouncer was shot by a disgruntled customer outside a Sydney strip. Eh, it’s not what I’d picture when I hear the term ‘Shooting my load at a Strip Club’, but whatever right?

No but really, I guess that’s the last time that Elliott Spitzer invites Dick Cheney for a night out. *Swish* COUNT IT!

Seriously, the big story coming out of Canberra is the possibility of new restrictions on alcohol, but already politicians are already coming out in opposition of it. Even deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard has come out against it, saying it’s the only way she’ll be ever be able to consolidate power on Saturday nights, if you catch my drift.

In other political news, Kevin Rudd be visiting China, and I’m telling you, I hope that he speaks to the Chinese Minister about the Tibet situation. Now Monks are saying that that the Chinese government has lied about the situation in Tibet. And I’m thinking what? A dishonest Communist? Surely not?

Speaking of traveling, but a Nigerian was arrested after getting of an airplane with a kilogram of Heroin in his stomach, which if my math is correct, is commendable, as he’s carrying the equivalent of half his bodyweight around with him.


Speaking of Africa, Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe recently expressed confidence in his chances in the upcoming election, despite rally numbers being in the oppositions’ favour.

Mugabe sights his popularity in early torture confessional polls as proof that he’s going to win.

Speaking of poor segues, today the Mercury had the frontpage article ‘What’s Wrong with Tassie’, which is odd, as generally the letters section is somewhere in the middle.

No, but the people surveyed said that the quality of food was poorer than the rest of Australia. I’ll tell you, when I heard I damn near stopped picking the maggots out of my breakfast and threw the paper away.

No, but Hilary Clinton has been in the news for overemphasizing the danger that she was under when she visited Bosnia as the First Lady. She said that she entered a dangerous area to a hostile reception, and that advancement was next to impossible…No wait, that’s what she said about trying to have sex with Bill.

The whole thing has stained the whole Clinton so much that Hilary was on the phone to Monica Lewinsky to find what dry cleaner she used! HI YO!

No, but really, Can you imagine that? A Clinton lying? I can’t believe that a Clinton could betray the public’s trust like that.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Rainow Six Vegas

If there’s one thing that the later levels of Rainbow Six Vegas 2 do well, it’s demonstrate just how hard it’s becoming to delineate between the three Tom Clancy franchises (those being Rainbow Six, Ghost Recon and Splinter Cell). The moment that this becomes clear is, ironically enough, whilst you are on a solo mission co-operating with a Splinter Cell. Whilst an interesting idea in cross promotion (especially to Clancy aficionados), without your teammates to back you up, it plays like a terrible homage to both franchises. The gameplay devolves into bad parody of Sam Fischer’s escapades, only without the crazy monkey moves.

To be fair, this level is the stand out case, and the rest of the game is typical Rainbow Six. In fact, it’s probably a little too typical, and if you’ve played the original Vegas, then there is nothing that stands out as being particularly new or groundbreaking. The gameplay mechanics are still rock solid, rappelling and fast roping in particular continuing to be a blast. Taking a leaf out of Call of Duty 4’s book, you also have the ability to shoot through thin objects (seriously, if OJs defense strategy was in here it would look like Swiss Cheese), giving you and your two comrades a small advantage over the tangos.

It’s certainly enjoyable to order your teammates around (Napoleonic complex ahoy!), and it feels like they’re smarter this time around, following your orders with a degree of aptitude usually reserved for the smartest of primary school children.

Sadly though, most of other new additions to the game make it worse. The most baffling change is the addition of a new unlockable weapon scheme, which usually makes the terrorists better equipped than you, even though you’re a member of the most important anti-terror force in the world. For example; You want an awesome bulletproof shield like the terrorists parade around the levels with? Well bad luck, you have to unlock it, and even then you probably won’t get it on your first playthrough. You also have customizable clothing options now, so if you spent the better part of the first Vegas wondering why your character wasn’t wearing a garishly colored bandana, then salvation may be at hand.

In Vegas 2, the protagonist charged with wearing your dubious choice in headgear is a Rainbow veteran named Bishop. You control a team of two other operatives, charged with taking back control of the less neon soaked parts of Las Vegas from terrorists(couldn’t we just have let them keep them?). Once the baddies get control of a couple of chemical weapons the stakes are understandably raised (as if there already aren’t enough toxins in Vegas that’ll kill you).

To be honest, it would benefit Vegas 2 if the story was ignored for the duration of this review, as I’m assuming that the script writers did the same throughout the writing process. When the story does makes sense, it’s too clichéd to be significant, and when it doesn’t it’s easier to just laugh than bother to decipher it. The characters motivations feel like they would be more at home on an episode of Gossip Girl;. Who knew that hardened anti-terrorists would be so whiny? And whose idea was it to inject a pseudo boss fight into the ending?

Set at exactly the same time as the first Vegas (circa 2010), perhaps the one that can be gleamed is that it’s interesting to see the same story from a different angle.

Although the game itself is set in the future, many of the design decisions seem entrenched in standards that where deserted years ago. Levels are but a shade of the first Vegas, CASINO GAG HERE. Oh, and special mention for the convention center level; it seems little more than a shameless chance for Ubisoft to bombard the player with non stop ads.

Worse, the levels often descend into little more than trial and error. This is exacerbated by the fact that you are still unable to save anywhere in a level, with the location of checkpoints being dictated by the developers. Seriously folks, it’s 2008, why can’t we save whenever we want to yet?

The saddest part of this is not that it frequently makes for frustrating gameplay, but it ruins the flow and immersion of the game. Instead of focusing of getting to a ticking bomb, you’re praying to make it safely to the next checkpoint.

If you enjoyed- or at least tolerated the pitfalls of- the first Vegas, then there’s nothing inherently wrong with its sequel. Although graphically the game suffers from being away from the neon lit casinos, it’s still good looking (although suffering from game killing slowdown in the some larger areas), and the merits of the multiplayer portion of the game remain largely intact. Although strangely enough, the four player Co-op has been omitted, instead the limit has been downsized to two.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Easter Monologue!

Huh? Who the fuck is Emo Phillips?

I wish I lived in America, Politicians seem to really care about their constituents. In fact, get this: I heard that Dick Cheney was personally going to hold up every petrol station accused of price gouging.


Easter Time huh? What a great time. Finally, the one time of year those poor chocolate manufacturers can turn a profit. All those brown bunnies and disorientated children, I get flashbacks to the time my sewerage system overflowed and flooded my basement.


No really, I saw Lindsay Lohan on the street corner a minute ago, I think she was taking the term ‘giving away her eggs’ a little too literally.



So this girl says to me the other day, she says ‘I don’t think I could live with myself with a slept with you’, which is ironical, because most girls that slept with me actually weren’t…

Huh?

Oh okay, apparently I’m under council not to finish that sentence.

Anyway, the next day another different girl says that most women wouldn’t be seen alive dating me, which is good, because at the time that most of them are they’re not…

Oh, apparently I can’t finish that one either.



So wow, this Tibet stuff is a whole bagful of trouble eh? Who knew that occupying a country and forcing your belief system on them could have dire consequences?

No, but to be honest I’m not worried, I was talking to my dad, and he reckons it’s just a bunch of Bulldust.

Huh?

Oh, Buddhists. Okay, now it makes sense, so I suppose that dude wasn’t comparing to my blog to Siddhartha

No, but it’s been a historic week for Australia. HMAS Sydney was found hundreds of miles off the coast after a 60 year search. Of course we’ll ignore the fact that it was originally looking for Brendan Nelson’s leadership. HI YO! Get it? Ship?

No but seriously, I’m still waiting to see what will get to 10% first: His opinion polls or Interest Rates

No but really, a couple of weeks ago there was a kafuffle over Mark Vaile’s tax payer funded trips to the Middle East. But apparently it’s okay, he was just looking for a place where the Liberal Party might be able to win an election.

So, a new report claims that Australian women suffer from PMS more than their European contemporaries.

In other news, smoking is bad for you. Am I right men?!

No but seriously, apparently Julia Gillard was asked for a comment but she…ah fuck it, you know where this is going right?

So, the numbers are coming out in Paul Mcarthy’s divorce. Apparently Heather Mills got the equivalent of $1500 an hour for her marriage to McCarthy. Wow, I bet Spitzer would kill for those numbers.

She’s denying claims that she threw cold water over Paul’s lawyer, a Ms Fiona Shackelton. Funnily, we could have avoided this whole mess if someone had done to Paul a couple of years back. Hi-YO!

So, the drummer from Abba is dead? I’m not going to make a joke about Rose Gardens, I’m not totally devoid of humanity…

He is though.

Fuck I hate myself.



Sorry, and happy easter.




Friday, March 21, 2008

CD's I still haven't listened to: Part Six (?)

Biirdie- Catherine Avenue

An endorsement by Spin of all things? Well, that’s likely to give something another chance. See, I didn’t bother listening to this until Spin give it the two thumbs up, so I guess buying it is useful for something other than secretly giving Rolling Stone the finger

Although a caveat, since these folks don’t even have a wikipedia (what year is this?) I shall be flying solo on this one (sorry…that’s the only one, I promise.).

Catherine Avenue is as much a love letter (or at least a Dear John) to Los Angeles as Biirdie themselves are to the music of Southern Califoria. Although CSNY (Estelle) and mid Fleetwood Mac (Him) comparisons are inevitable, it also takes its cue from other 80’s icons. The sparsely psychedelic Who Were You Thinkin’ Of takes much of its melodic inspiration-

from The Traveling Wilburys Last Night. Meanwhile the opening Catherine Avenue takes its form from a poppier Bright Eyes- confessional warble and proving it’s just as likely to break standards as it is to sing of broken hearts. Avant-Garde philosophies regarding song times aren’t always a good thing though, and I’m Going to Tell You Something meanders for three minutes before the –admittedly catchy- song truly starts.


Wilco- Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

For all the dissonant noises and extended noodling sessions, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is still a Wilco record- just given a shiny new coat of florescent paint. The whole record smacks of growing pains and superficial bells and whistles over a CD’s that’s still more rock than anything else. In fact, the biggest change comes from songsmith Jeff Tweedy, who makes the switch from Alt-Country Troubadour to Indie Rock mastermind with disturbing ease. Although the broken hearts and country ballads are still there, they’re under a new direction, with Tweedy enunciating his thoughts into starkly beautiful lyrics. It’s hard to think of Ashes of American Flags being on any of his previous country orientated works. Always underutilized, the sonic toppings make it harder for Tweedy’s lyrics to be totally realized, let alone appreciated. It’s a sad fact that his lyrics will probably always be better when taken away from Wilco’s music (seriously, go and look at the lyrics for You Are My Face, the man is a genius

The firmly facetious Heavy Metal Drummer is a hazy throwback to a time that may not have actually existed, and probably the biggest departure from Wilco’s traditional sound. The more minimalist songs are as laid back as Wilco ever gets- Jesus Etc is like a Valium induced trip through breakups ville.


M. Ward

It’s tough to think of an angle with M Ward, the man seems just so low key. The thing making him hard to write about is the same thing that makes his minor key collections of folk songs so endearing.

Whilst other indie rock compadres (such as Bright Eyes) may go on stage intoxicated and wax faux political, Ward seems happy to talk through parables- a wonderfully quaint (and effective) notion. However, unlike other dotingly fragile songwriters Ward rarely whispers confessionals, instead singing more like a testosterone enhanced Conor Orberst.

The strengths of his discography (but especially End Of Amnesia) make him close to being a living Elliott Smith (although lacking his pop sensibility), Ward makes his mark with tracks like Carolina, a brilliant and typical (himself) tale of self discovery through America. Always wistfully melancholy, Ward’s lyrics would be best thing about the CD if he wasn’t such a talented musician.

Throughout End of Amnesia Ward implies that he’s more a guitarist than his indie credentials would suggest- no three chord slugfests here. Flamenco influences abound, perhaps an inkling of an indie Steve Howe? Psalm in particular suggest that is the case, and elsewhere Color of Water sounds a little like a thoughtful cover of John Mayer’s Stop This Train.

With Grey’s Anatomy style soundtracks making pensive acoustic songs as popular as Elliott Spitzer in a strip club, one has to wonder why Ward isn’t more popular; he seems to have everything going for him.

Maybe the fact that he does seem blessed is perhaps the answer to why he isn’t being played over a montage of Meredith crying and giving some odd and obtuse explanation. Wow, long sentence.


The National- Boxer

It’s hard to find a new angle regarding The Boxer- it was hanging off the shoulder of every music critic last year, so the best that I can do is just point to reviews and nod enthusiastically in the direction of more authoritative opinions.

Sounding like one would have envisioned a full band Iron and Wine sounding like pre Shepards Dog, Boxer is equal parts old time American music and new age mope fest. But instead of Sam Beam’s whisper thin voice and guitar the albums the dark atmosphere is created by multilayered piano tracks and deep baritone. Musically it’s an engaging slice of American nostalgia that never even thinks of digressing from the game plan- oddly enough this predictability give the album the perfect base to work from.
In fact, the voice of singer Matt Berninger is probably the biggest caveat of the Record.
Sometimes so warm that it probably boiled the juices that it was stewed in (don’t ask), other times it sounds painfully monotone.
Racing Like a Pro where his voice is best, is an equal parts sympathetic and rebuking look at someone who misses better days. But in Mistaken For Strangers , he derides one for being boring, whist being the sonic equivalent of Jim Lehrer on a copious dose of Valium.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Thought things that inhabited my thing this thing.

Phase 1 Complete:

Finally,
my obsessive reading of the avclub.com has paid off

http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/sxsw_the_wednesday_report/2

See it there, at 9.05?


This means:

a) Jenny Lewis is allegedly single.

b) Jenny Lewis likes guys who write bad and cliched songs.

What? Is that unhealthy?



Alfred did tell me that it Woden't be good. ZING!

Unproven and unwarranted Nerd Outrage incoming!
The more that I hear about the Max Payne movie, the more I think that my favourite game franchise is going to be raped in the side streets of Hollywood (which would go part ways to explaining the constipated expression).

Guh, a character that doesn't even exist being added to the film? It's odd, but I can at least understand it, but...

Mila Kunis. Really? Really? Can we expect zany flashbacks to Three's Company episodes ala Family Guy?



If You Burn a Candle to it then you can actually see when her pitch wavers.

I actually shouldn't hate, because She and Him is a awesomely good album (may I add props to my Primary School associate Courtney for going out the back of JB Hi-Fi and digging it out the boxes), in fact, probably my favorite for this year.

As I said in my witticism, Ms Zooey (I'm not spelling her last name) has a few voice problems (sometimes almost painful) but there's a platitude in her voice that's really endearing.

Sure, her writing isn't going to win any awards, but it's a solid collection of country tinged pop that's equal parts apprehensive and adorable. Plus it's commendable that a female pop artist is actually writing her own material (co-writing doesn't count.)
I shouldn't be surprised that M. Ward is a fucking awesome producer, especially considering he's up there with Jeff Tweedy in terms of favourite songwriters right now, but color me whatever shape of a colour that besy conveys shock, because this dude is awesome at everything.


I hate to be Donkey Kong Death Level But...



Everything good you've heard about the documentary King of Kong is true. Even the bits that made no sense at all.

You need to watch this movies, and goddamnit, if you're not up there cheering at the end then you just ain't human.
And if Wiebe's wife isn't the most understanding, lovable woman in the universe then I want to meet this other woman. And have her bake me a pie, because she would be awesome.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I've been on the Books.

Over the last (blessedly long) weekend, with a flourish of determination that the pharaohs of old would have been proud of, I set good time management to the wind and read three books.

Barring the two blissful hours I spent listening to 1 Up Yours (May you find fair winds Fragile Eagle!) reading was almost all I did. Just me, a formidable stash of Skittles (and later Old Gold Chocolate) and as little human contact as possible.

This weekend of nerd bacchanalia, in my mind, completes the implicit agreement I made with myself concerning the increase in books I’m going to this year. Actually that should really be ‘more good books’ (good being a totally subjective term, meaning, in this case, books that said to be good by other people- I’m talking Pulitzers here people!). I’m relying on others, because my generally fine tuned nose has been out of a book for so long that I wouldn’t know anything if it wasn’t for Orpah’s Book Club*

I know it’s in vogue to bash nostalgia- especially when said nostalgia is coming from the mind of a 22 year old- but I really think that reading was part of the cultural zeitgeist for children at the time. Any from of young adult literature was almost my substance for being over the first ten years of my life, whereas today it almost seems like any form of stationary activity involving children is discouraged.

Myself, like so many others, grew up on a steady stream of Teen Power Inc, and for those more prone to a good scare, Goosebumps novels. It wasn’t just a hobby, it was practically a necessity: I didn’t get any kind of videogame game system until the fifth grade, and the notion of pop music scared the bejesus out of me (I’m actually not kidding…). Thus, I needed something to whittle away my antisocial years (completion TBA), and reading was perfect mix- Enjoyable and Parent Friendly- it was like the Wii of the 1990’s

So, here are my three rushed interpretations and impressions on the three books that I read.


Take it To Limit: The True Story of the Eagles

Okay, true confessions time. This:

a) Wasn’t actually my book, I got it off aunt, who got it off the Library

b) Wasn’t actually all that great.

To be honest I only read this book because my Aunt has almost an encyclopedic knowledge of the Eagles, and I, in another tale of my never ending pop culture elitism, feel the need to match her.

The book explores the rise of the L.A based country music- simultaneously making the Eagles and agent David Geffen very famous and- presumably- very rich.

After reading this book, the only emotion stronger than that need for superiority is the uncontrollable urge to hit almost every one of the Eagles with the dual fists of rationale and common sense. The whole book left me with a feeling of bewilderment- just how great do the Eagles think that they are?

In fact, the running theme throughout the book seems to be just how unlikable everybody involved in the music business seems to be: Record companies, agents, and especially the musicians.

The most entertaining aspect of the book was that some idiot had proof read- sometimes incorrectly- for grammatical mistakes throughout the book (and written in corrections when deemed necessary.

Dear god, what sort of person needs to do that?

That, and the author’s gratuitous use of the term neo-nostalgic, I guess meaning that it’s now okay to be nostalgic about the way that nostalgia used to be.


Cormac McCarthy- The Road

So, here’s this Pulitzer business that I was talking about…

The Road seems to be the type novel that changes people- I don’t know if I’d put my experience into that deep a pit of hyperbole- but it’s certainly a brilliant book. Just like I’d hesitate to call it Science Fiction (Clive Thompson), or an environmental warning (Crazy Hippies). Instead, like all everything else that McCarthy seems to do, is inherently tied to humanity: Both the human race as a whole and race and how man treats its fellow man.

The apparent appearance of Deus Ex Machinima in the last 10 pages only underscores the most important thing about The Road: The Journey. Not only that of man and son, but also of the reader through the book. Even though the never learn how exactly the world got like this, it’s still evocative beyond belief. McCarthy’s prose perfectly suits the story, making one feel oddly aware- and disturbingly enough, at home- in the world he created.


Neil Gaiman- Ameircan Gods

I admit to placing too much value into the relative worth of television shows. It’s not quite up to an Almond Tanzarian level of fanboyism, but it’s creeping on up there. Thus, the main reason that I picked up this book was because of the considerable of influence it allegedly had over Supernatural.

After reading it, I not only see the parallels, but I feel curiously reassured that Supernatural knows what it’s doing, at least regarding finding a suitable ending (something that I was skeptical about). Supernatural skirts the perfect line between homage and plagiarism: It has similar themes, evokes a similar kind of landscape and style, but the storylines have little in common.

Standing on its own, American Gods is still a brilliant book. Even Gaimans’ introductory biography made me sigh ‘I wish I could write like that’. It’s similar to McCarthy’s The Road in the sense that both of them are road trip novels- a tale of traveling throughout the heart of America: Be it with in a end of days like future, or with a Norse god in the car seat next to you.

Throughout what may seem like a whimsical affair, Gaiman tackles some big issues. In fact it would be fair to say that when it comes to issues, Gods are about as big as they come. Gaiman tackles the beliefs humanity for millennia in an admirably personal sense, interceding the chapters of the present day with tales concerning just how gods made it to America.

*This is obliviously a joke, but I’ll be damned if The Road wasn’t a great choice.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY IT’S A HOLIDAY


I am generally a pretty anxious person. It’s not something that’s totally devoid of merit in some circumstances, I think every group needs a person who is overly cautious to the point of it being infuriating.

I sometimes (okay, I never) think that a couple of me’s hanging around Abu Gharib could have saved the United States a whole lot of bellyaching. In fact, put me near any significant event in history and I’m sure that my ‘Um, is that so smart?’ brand of advancing forth would have saved many lives.

It’s certainly one of my more lovable traits, but I get it around almost everything: Large groups, people, large groups of people. All the usual suspects are presented and accounted for, along with a few oddities.

One thing in particular that makes me uncomfortable is listening to new music without having a precise chronology of the band in question. History of band breakup and drug use at the time goes without saying, and blood type is advantageous but not essential.

It’s hard, bordering on the unreasonably cruel and unusual to listen to music in an information blackout. Partly because it makes me hesitant to form an opinion, but also because the history is half the story- how much better is listening to the genre breaking Tusk knowing that Fleetwood Mac perfected said broken genre with their previous record? Plus, it’s always nice to know if I’m praising someone who’s a prick.

So, I await commendations and applause for listening to Steely Dan’s Can’t Buy a Thrill knowing only two things:


a) Apparently, they gargle my balls.


b) They have either a sense of humor so dry that not even Kirsten Dunst could suck a drop out of it, or are pricks on a Napoleonic scale. I’m leaning towards the first at this time.


That’s it, that’s the gospel of Steely Dan according to me. Oh, I also know about origins of their name, but that doesn’t really count. I mean, music trivia in itself isn’t really useful for anything, and trivia regarding science fiction related sex toys is a dead genre.


Where was I? Oh right, Steely Dan are a pretty cool band. Funny, when I say that I feel like I’m a pretentious 18 year old music nerd out of High School (which is bullshit, I’m 22, and truth be told should still be in high school). I could go on hating all day, but this, unlike the recent dissolution of a romantic relationship, has supposedly nothing to do with me. No, this is about Steely Dan (although, its kind may have also played a part in said break up)


Although Jimmy Page may think the world of the Reelin in the Years solo (and with good reason), their musical aptitude doesn’t just lie in the showy guitar wankery. Although there are plenty of noodely moments, Steely Dan know a thing or two about music theory. Although the albums opener Do it Again sounds, at best, like a distant relation to Jazz, the genre’s influence is obvious, both in the Progressions and in the chords, which have more slashes than a
MCR obsessed teenager.


Talk of such nonsense is good for some enthusiasts, but the average listener is more likely easier to pick up on the choruses. That’s not to say that the songs are dependent on them –their musical ability is just probably better than any other pop band of the time-, just that they feel like the base that the album is built on. The foundations range from the sing-song vocal harmonies on Kings to the almost aggravatingly upbeat Reelin In the Years’


I’ve got no doubt that Steely Dan is a great band, I’m just wondering what their legacy has been. Are there any bands that have based themselves around this sound? (Note: Midnite Cruisers- A loving tribute to Steely Dan don’t count)



Daniel Johnston- Discovered Covered

Daniel Johnston is perhaps one of the more divisive figures in music. He's probably one of your favourite musicians favourite musicians*, yet many either can't stand him or haven't heard of him. Both are understandable-his music certainly doesn't lend itself to commercial success- and he seems just as happy to not be well known. For those who like his music, this mystique probably encourages idolatry and ensures that he’ll almost be infamous to some degree, even though he won’t be on TRL anytime soon.

Even when totally ignoring his personal problems, his music hardly lends itself to mainstream popularity: His voice, although changing wildly, is unique- although rarely 'normal'- and his songs can exceed as well as under whelm. Even when they are good, they're hardly typical songs, Johnson's invariably introduces the same unusual themes throughout much of his music


Often enough these themes –although fascinatingly odd in themselves- evolve into proof that he can write one hell of a song, and that's what this CD best enunciates. Taking away any caveats regarding the presentation or standing in Johnston's catalogue, it allows the lyrics to be shaped by artists more renowned -and perhaps more adept musically- than Johnson. Unsurprisingly enough, they are all indie artists, but the range is still fairly wide.

Devil Town, done in a minimalist fashion by Bright Eyes, has the same rough outer layering that's typically evident in a Johnson recording. Loaded with equal parts accapella aided silence and alt country tweaks, it's one of the highlights. It borders on spooky at times, almost making you believe that all his friends are Vampires (which would explain the whiteness).


Same with the typical sounding Death Cab for Cutie take on Dream Scream. Although meandering towards the seven minute stage, it’s still valuable for being a fascinating hypothetical: What would Johnston sound like in a post OC pop band?

The result is exactly what you'd expect, which is invariably the strength of the album: It's bands that you might know doing exactly what'd expect with Daniel Johnston. More so than other albums, this creates boundless opportunities to gain appreciation for the artists involved- both coverer and coveree. But just how much this individual song hit depends on how much you like the band’s previous work. Just as I’m reminded how much I dislike TV on the Radio, I’m introduced to groups like Guster. Call it a musical on the ‘God openers a window’ philosophy’

Special mention to current ne’er do wronger M. Ward’s perfectly authentic (both to his typical style and to the original song) take on Story of an Artist is as poignant as it is minimalist, encapsulating the pain and paranoia on Johnston (and probably thousands of less capable songwriters).

If anything, Discovered Covered marks the first time that Clem Snide has been bearable. Don’t Let the Sun go Down on Your Grievance is the first time that I’ve really enjoyed their work, even though they’re a band that I really wanted to like

*Assuming your favourite musician has a pasty white complexion and whines a lot.


Steve Earle: I'll Be Alright

Steve Earle is best known to myself (and most others) as the man who blessed the airwaves with Copperhead Head. Contrary to popular belief, he did not die in a car accident (presumably involving the more slippery attributes of Copper that a funnier man may be able to style into some form of a joke) and is still making music.

Sadly enough, Earle has long been overtaken in popularity- at least in alt-country circles- by more modern acts. This fading is unfortunate, as he still has something to offer- the opening I’ll be Alright being a perfect example- both in his usefulness and as a lesson on the virtues of brevity

With two exceptions, each song on I Feel Alright is substantially less than three minutes. No note is overplayed, and no solo lasts any longer than the few bars separating the chorus and the second verse. With no signs of Prog-rock tape wasting, each song doesn’t mince words; a crueler listener might categorize such succinct statements as the mark of a redneck. Earle does no favours to himself in avoiding this comparison: His twang is nothing if not evocative of a ‘Bama born Springsteen, and his songs generally involve cheatin women and -the assumedly toothless- men that they cheat on.

Each track is a quick journey into a Americana a little more country than Springsteen and a little more pop than his Nashville inhabiting contemporaries. The Springsteen comparison flourishes the more you listen, especially on tracks like Valentines Day, where you’d swear it was Springsteen with a southern twang singing of love lost. Even Earle himself recognizes the Boss as an influence, name dropping the chorus of Rosalina in the dying seconds of Hardcore Troubadour, a song that could is written about Springsteen, giving the song’s sentiments.

Earle works best when he keeps it acoustic and simple. The Unrepentant, one the longer songs, is a little too heavy- both in length and amp distortion- for it’s own good. The songs other time wasting contemporary CCKP, is much better, a Poison Whiskey like sermon on the evils of drugs, with Earle’s solo acoustic guitar perfectly fitting the more macabre feel of the song. Similarly, Robert Johnson like South Nashville Blues is a twelve bar blues done right.

Perhaps, like many of the characters in his songs, Earle is looking for success in all the wrong places. Billy and Bonnie, whilst a Bonnie and Clyde tale, sometimes sounds a little too much like Copperhead Road for its own good. It’s probably not an intentional attempt at regaining radio play (as no band has ever been famous by writing similar sounding songs), it’s just that Earle is best when he keeps it simple: A country take on Springsteen, which on second thoughts, is probably not all that easy.


Now for shorter remarks on some CD’s that I didn’t like so much. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been pretty upbeat about most of the CD’s I’ve listened to. But, hey, everybody makes bad decisions sometimes, which reminds, I’m totally still waiting for Kristen Bell to throw that ass that she’s dating to the curb. Come on, come make time with a real man. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and cry into my pillow What, real men both cry and have pillows…Just necessarily not Sailor Moon embossed ones.

ANYWAY

White Buffalo- Hogtied Like A Rodeo.

It’s an odd phenomenon, but Hogtied sounds too country for it’s own good; almost like a type of self parody. It’s odd for a country CD to be too country, especially when this solo troubadour sounds more a baritone Rob Thomas than Hank Williams. That’s only in terms of voice, because sometime his brand of acoustic driven music is too damn catchy for it’s own good (Time’s main riff) He the kind of guy whose more into bar-room philosophy and copious amounts of self medication (The Bar and the Beer) than introverted moping, although the rather reflective opener (I Believe) might have you thinking it’s Elliot Smith with Boot Spurs. However, the interesting, albeit not ultimately that interesting doomsday story Carnage proves that Hogtied just as often falls into the Bulldust tinged dirt.

Truth be told, this CD isn’t that bad. Now I feel bad for grouping it with Mekon…

Mekon: Fear and Whiskey:

The title of Mekon’s Fear and Whiskey is quite apt- the former because of what it sounds like,’and the latter because of the copious amount s needed to make it enjoyable. Soundly vaguely like a even further Brit-i-fied Robert Smith takes us on a monotone trip through the life of a depressing British life (is there ant other kind?). Just as he seems to be intent on killing himself, and if his music is any indication, he seems intent on taking us with him.

The quite literal retelling of wartime radio chatter of Trouble Down South would be kind of funny if Mekon didn’t think it was worthy of the second track on the album. Same with Psycho Cupid, a meandering wander through the traumatic morning of a young girl. It works too, one tends to feel bad the young lady to be stuck in such a boring song.

Not even a butchered take on Hank William’s ‘Lost Highway can retrieve this from the doldrums, although the Celtic laden Flitcraft almost sounds enjoyable. Compared to the rest of the album it’s a downright masterpiece.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008













So, interest rates hit over 9% this week. I bet Brendan Nelson would kill for those kind of numbers.


I'm sitting of the bus today and I see this guy getting on, and he's wearing a t-shirt that says 'Orgasm Donor'. That alone is worthy of endless laughter and invocation of countless lines of questioning, but that's not the good part. The guy is pushing a child onto the bus (obviously with a pram intact, I'm not trying to bite Emo Phillip's game), and I'm thinking 'Wow, I like to think I'm a generous guy, but I'm not ready to give that generously'. I mean that's a long term commitment in the name of charity. I was going to do and shake his hand, but decided against it.

By the way, what's with buses sounding like a 50 Cent on high speed overdub these days? Terrible I tells ya.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/02/gervais_merchant_reunite_for_m.php

Recently hanger on to Karl Pilkington, Ricky Gervais, and hanger on to Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, announced a new sitcom. Set in the 70’s it promises to be a look into lower class tradie culture that nobody could find by walking 10 minutes to the nearest pub. Titled ‘Men at the Pru’, it shows callous disregard for the pairs previous monosyllabic naming tradition.

Just as Merchant and Gervais could hypothetically combine their physical attributes to make a reasonably normal looking human being, perhaps so could this show and Extras in the ever so remote possibility that this should not live up to expectations.

Wow¸ that made more sense in my mind.




Anyway.

How excited should you be regarding the new Gervais/Merchant sitcom? To find out the answer, I humbly offer up this quiz.


Question 1:


When someone mentions ‘The Corrs’ the first image that you enters your mind is:

a) The moderately successful Irish Pop-rock of the 1990’s.

b) A misspelling of the moderately popular American beer

c) Awkward silence.


Question 2:

The 70’s where a decade lacking in:

a) Morality in the American government

b) A set of traditional values for middle and lower classes

c) Awkward silences.


Question 3:

Every 70’s show needs to have:

a) a lovable South American Immigrant capable of banging every starlet in existence

b) A leather jacket wearing, shark jumping teen who smells of pomade.

c) Awkward silence involving old, awkward men


Question 4:

The girl that you are crazy about is getting married to someone else. Your plan to win her involves:

a) Dispersing a steady stream of negative rumours regarding her husband to be, thus decaying her trust in him.

b) Fight him for your love. Your valor will be recognized, and fair maiden shall be yours

c) Sit there in silence. Also, try and look awkward whilst doing so. Chicks dig that kind of thing.


Question 5:

The longest that you can base something on awkward silence is:

a) Not applicable. It’s never funny, I like my cameras times three, and my sitcoms with copious amounts of Charlie Sheen

b) About five questions, then it starts to get old.

c) About twelve episodes, with two Christmas ones as a bonus.


Debriefing

Mainly A’s and B’s: You are not yet ready to be graced with jokes that make you sit there and say ‘hmm, I guess I do hate it when people say/do that’. Perhaps you could take a remedial class in British humor in time for it’s release.

Mainly C’s: Hooray! You passed the totally uninformed, inconsequential test. It’s like 10th grade math all over again. Give yourself a pat on the back.

Also, just in case you are insane, this is totally facetious. Both Gervais and Merchant deserve every accolade possible -even if they’re not eligible for it- and the office is nothing short of a masterpiece.