You, you must be thinking of someone else.

Pop music, like a randy teenager, has always had trouble distinguishing between the concepts of ‘love’ and ‘sex’. Although obsessed with both of them, it can’t seem to decide which one it prefers. For every song that encourages healthy relationships (Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight), there are ones that encourage less healthy ones (You Shook Me All Night Long).

Sometimes the lyrics hardly matter- does anyone care what Rihanna’s Umbrella is saying? Does it even matter when she’s not wearing anything in the videoclip? Rhianna and her succession of thinly veiled -and occasionally not even that-singles are evidence to something obvious to anyone who two eyes and a pulse- singles are the most sexual part of the music industry. Not necessarily in their lyrical content (although the most successful are inevitably the audio equivalent of a ‘come hither’ look), or in the previously mentioned risqué video clip, but rather in what they represent. For the listener, they’re the musical equivalent of the one night stand. There are no explanations, excuses or background information on the encounter. You listen to Umbrella (ella-ella…). Girlfriend, or whatever other piece of tacky piece of guilty joy is clogging the artery of the airwaves, and have a great time. Yeah, the chord progressions have been done a million times, the voice correction is obvious a mile away, but damnit, Katy Perry is talking about having kissed a girl! That means lesbian overtones!

With a single, you don’t expect anything once the song is finished, and the song doesn’t want anything from you. You’re free to enjoy whatever insipidly enjoyable song the music industry churns out next. Now, compare this to the equivalent of a monogamous relationship- the unwavering devotion to a band. While a one night stand with some song might be easy, this one takes hard work- all the CDs (legally bought!), the live bootlegs of their unreleased songs, and even that weird Japanese only release that was on eBay for an ungodly sum.

I’ll put my negatable reputation on the line and say that I’ve done this for three groups- Death Cab for Cutie, Elliott Smith, and Fleetwood Mac- all of which I think of in the most unsexual possible way ever- which from what I’m told, is just like being married.
Contrasts this to the single, where the overall body of work doesn’t matter, just the..um…overall body of the person doing the singing. It’s a facet of the industry that’s founded almost entirely on the sexual tones to the song to sell. Of course, that’s nothing new- conservative ire was raised at Presley over fifty years ago, and nothing has changed. Hell, sexual deviancy is almost expected among our pop stars today. Nobody’s surprised when Britney Spears is caught not wearing underwear. Disturbed- sure, but the surprise ship sailed somewhere during 2002.

So, is music becoming more sexualized, or is the music industry itself becoming more sexualized? Is it becoming more standard to give us, the consumer, a string of songs that are ultimately meaningless?
It seems that –in keeping with this analogy that seems more insane by the minute- youTube- and the internet in general- is becoming the pop culture equivalent of divorce, destroying any chance we have a meaningful relationship with a pop group.
Baring the pseudo cult that’s formed around 70’s rock revivalists The Hold Steady, is it even rational to think that a band could garner such support that a name for their fans becomes commonplace –i.e The Grateful Dead and their Deadheads? Even when something as all consuming and unifying as the internet should support such relationships? Does the concept of loving a band it even matter when there are four minute slices of anonymous happiness waiting for us?