Schizophrenia Time 1#

Warning: Spoilers for a certain show about a serial killer who just can't help himself.



Season 1- Hey

Season 2- Oh hey, what's up

S1- Oh you know, nothing much. Just wondering what the fuck was up with you?

S2- I'm sorry?

S1- You heard. I'm asking what went wrong with you. I mean, look at the groundwork I laid for you, and you just decide to mess it up?

S2- Again, I'm confused, what exactly do you mean?

S1- You're confused, how the fuck do you think everyone else feels? I mean, you were lazy. You where like a Sloth who just had Valium prescribed after his legs where amputated.


S2- Me lazy? Please, half of your closing montages sounded like they were from a Scrubs episode.

S1- Alright sure, sometimes I strayed into corny country, but you ignored anything that even approached emotional resonance. Harrys suicide? Dokes, which, by the way was the biggest case of Deus Ex Machima since Moses inexplicably walked out of a desert after four decades? How do you throw away a character like that? Or, rather, how do you dig your plotline into such a hole that the only way out is total nonsense? Doakes was a cop-out, plain and simple.


S2- Emotional Resonance? Please, did you watch Dexter struggle with turning himself in? That's some A grade nail biting right there. If season one examined the concept of a post 9/11 super/anti hero, then I looked at how deeply such a precieved responsibility can affecct relationships with loved ones. Doakes? Well, I know that the Writers Strike is becoming the Jew of 2008 television, but maybe that's to blame? Or hey, sometimes shit just happens.


S1- Hey, you don't need to tell me, I watched the whole Lyla soap opera. Now that was painful. It's cool that she was introduced, as someone that understands Dester was a much needed development, but did she have to be so...British?


S2- What, you don't like Boobies? I knew there was something wrong with you!


S1- Oh great, now you're Doakes?


S2- Hey, I'd would rather burn than get burned.


S1- What the fuck? That doesn't even make sense.


S2- Yeah, you're right. Hey, I got a question...


S1- Shoot...


S2- Is Dexter's sister hot?


S1- Yeah sure, in a less cute version of Olivia Wilde kind of way.


S2- Fuck you dude. Fuck you.


Season 3- Hey guys, what's happening?


S1-S2- Damnit, you're gunna have Maria find the truth right? I hate to see a good man made otherwise.


S3- The fuck should I know? I don't actually exist yet...