I love Milco. I mean Wilco! Wilco!

I, at best, could be a described as a blissfully ignorant Home and Away fan:

I don't really watch it, and I generally have little idea what exactly is going on, which makes me happy. I'm not happy not because I don't know I don't know about it, I'm happy because I know that I don't know about it*

This ignorance is one of my rare victories over good taste, and a defeat for those evil forces that are obsessed with getting people to watch mildly attractive women cavorting about in mildly revealing outfits participating in mildly relevant plot lines about suicide and other pressing social issues**,
Anyway, what piqued my interest in writing about this little slice of wince worthy Australiana was the the whole Milco storyline.

From what I understand, Milco was an imaginary friend of character 'Sally' around two decades ago.
Or at least we thought so! But now he *gasp!* appears to be real. And he's in the Bay! And he's snooping about near Sally.**

All this I couldn't give two licks of a hard boiled egg about. What got me thinking was how this story came about. Am I the only one laughing at the prospect of some writer setting this up two decades ago? Don't answer that...

Writer: Hahahahaha. You think Lost (which won't exist for another two decades...) doesn't give you answers? You fuckers are gunna have to wait 20 years to get the reveal on this piece of resplendently unparalleled genius!


I wonder how pissed he/she'll be when the whole is wrapped up in a manner so stupid and typified by everything on Home and Away.





* Oh, how very Rumsfeldian on me. Whatever happened to that dude?


**Oddly enough, the number 2 cause of suicide in Australia is the realization that you watch Home and Away on a regular basis.


***Things Home and Away has taught me number 245: Writing your name in the sand is totally the best way to get the attention of a girl.
Closely followed by 246: If you have sex with someone, you will get pregnant, and there will be complications. You can wear a literal fucking tent on your wang, but that bitch is still gettin' pregnant, and it's coming out with two heads. Don't have sex!