Friday Night Boredom

You know, for all the shit that they’re given I think that Americans are a pretty cluey bunch. Remember that insipidly annoying Crazy Frog Ringtone? Whilst it rocketed to number in seven countries it didn’t make a dent in the United States top 50.
The latest act of mercy by our North American friends was the cancellation of the CW show Online Nation after four episodes..

Now I don’t know about you, but when a show is cancelled after a month, my first idea isn’t generally to make an abdominally shitty clone for Australian TV.
In fact I’d run like I run from Rolling Stone when it continually tries to shove Hunter S. Thomson’s bloated corpse onto every fucking cover of it’s magazine to appeal to drug addled stoners. Okay we get it, the dude was fucking off his tree, but he’s deader than an STD free Lindsay Lohan (I still love you Lindsay!)

Apparently though, what I thought to be a cohesive thought process was actually as unstable as my generally shoddy pop culture metaphors, as Ten thought that a show consisting of video clips farmed from the internet was the best fucking idea since televised ethnic marriages. Yes, that was a Yasmin reference. I positively ooze class.

Remember when Youtube started ever so long ago, and you saw all those kind of funny clips from Japan/people hilariously hurting themselves and thought ‘Hey that’s kind of funny!’ then forget about them once the next Quasar sex tape hit?

Well now, years later, you can have the pleasure of seeing in all their badly pixilated glory! At a set time! With an audience, who judging by the constant warnings to ‘not try this at home’ have a collective IQ in the mid 40’s! What’s more, you’ll have additional commentary with the three people who made make continually question the lack of Chlorine in the human gene pool:

1: Mike ‘Someone get me and shit eating grin back to late television’ Goldman. Thanks Mike, but I’ll talk to be my Grandmother if I want to talk to someone who’s knows shit about Pop culture (Love You Nan!)

Actually, I would like that first comment stricken from the record. I’ve hated that asshole ever since he pushed by Letterman to 2.30am. I know I have the Neon disease, but to have that kind of dedication I’d have to be lit up like fucking Kings Crossing (which I’m assuming is Neon rich due to it’s shady reputation).

2: Bree, the blonde chick who may be attractive, pending an upcoming coin toss (Results will be live blogged later). I think her actual role on the show, judging from tonight, is to constantly give a vacant, bemused look into the camera at all times. Also, after reading her Wikipedia I discovered that she had cancer, so I feel like an asshole for being mean to her.

3: Ryan ‘how the fuck have I remembered to breathe for 31 years?’ Fitzgerald. From what I’ve been able to discern his role involves him stating what is happening in the current video. Not saying anything interesting, but actually saying what is nobody without glaucoma is fucking oblivious too. The guy dancing has one leg? No Fucking Shit! I thought it was a thyroid problem that gave him that whole one leg appearance, thanks for clearing that up, you adorable pseudo celebrity of a metro sexual you.

To be fair, I am being a bit of an asshole, as Australian TV in general in a pretty shitty state, but this show is a fucking abortion (yeah, classy I know). I swear to god if this show isn’t cancelled within the same timeframe it’s US counterpart I will seriously consider my future on planet Earth.

Also, due to my digressing from my prepared remarks, the thoughts on Heroes that I had so carefully labored on will be delayed 24 hours. So tomorrow, the Office and Heroes, double team! Believe!