I have nothing to write about 'cept things that happen.

John Heder is headlining another movie.

George Lucas is making a direct to TV Star Wars series.

I’m not sure which is scarier. Fuck, I’ve wrestled alligators blindfolded, and that seems totally tame compared these incoming treats.
Nobody has underwhelmed me more then real world Ralph Wiggum, and nobody consistently insults what little intelligence I have than Lucas, thus they are being sewn together in a rat-bird like post.

Honestly, I hate saying assholish things about people. I’d like to say that Heder isn’t to blame, and that a retarded monkey makes his film choices, but damn it, a monkey (retarded or not) could make better choices than The Bench Warmers.

Lucas said that he wanted the series to be about ‘the life of robots’. Considering the life he has given to shoddy, annoying, mainly plagiarized premises and annoying fucking creatures, I’m fascinated to see how he breathes life into annoying machinery.
Hey, maybe he could ‘Scrubs’ it, and every episode could insult us by playing whatever shitty acoustic is hot that week, accompanying the characters realizing some stupid yet totally obvious pseudo point that they were previously totally fucking oblivious to.

Or hey, if they really want the TV show to be a disappointment then they could just rename it ‘Life’

Note: In that last line I’m not sure if I was referring to the show or life itself, both are pretty mediocre most of the time.

Note Note: Blades of Glory is perhaps the Heder exception, but only because of Will Arnett and Jenna Fischer. But I’m totally willing to be proven wrong.

I love you John. XOXO

Link: http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/entnews/ap/20071016/119260332000.html