The Conundrum of being the Tortoise:

As I’m sure every other Australian who has a passing interest in nerdy happenings would know, Australia is generally pretty behind the ball on everything, television being no exception.
However to the television stations credit, this has changed a little this year, with Seven and Ten ‘fast tracking’ several important shows (oh and Nine with Viva Laughlin or whatever it was) in some sort of begrudging acknowledgment of the fact that people who what Bittorrent is.
Me for this idea works pretty well, although there have been some strange choices made (Californiacation, although surprisingly good, was a weird choice).
Of course with the writers strike looming over television like so much dirty rain the whole fast tracking issue is proving kind of moot, as many of the shows are facing hiatus (or already arrieved).
The way that Australian stations are reacting to this is something (I feel) is worth discussing.

The whole notion piqued my interest when I saw Ten running (very) late night advertisements for Kane (an almost spiritual successor to the Sopranos that looks, well, almost interesting) in the timeslot where in a usually got my fix of misanthropic doctors. Judging from Nine’s treatment of the Sopranos, I can only imagine where Kane would have been relegated to without the strikes, but now it’s being given prime position (undoubtedly being an attractive prospect for Ten because it’s completed it’s initial run of 13 episodes, so no strike worries). Ten are also showing America’s Top Model (no comment) which (I believe…) is also the same one being shown over in states, which leads me (in a roundabout way to my next/first question: Is it going to be worth the trouble of airing shows when they there is no discernable way to continue them? The way I see it, TV stations have three choices:


1: Start the new season of shows and pray that those damn Pinkos stop striking (kidding!). This in my opinion is the best solution because:
a) It gets the new shows out for people to watch, and if the writer’s strike lifts at just the right time then it will play out perfectly.
b) With the hiatus of Heroes/ Prison Break/ other important show it will mean that we will get to see shows earlier, as channels will need something to fill the gap.

This hypothetical is kind of unlikely because:

a) TV channels may want to save shows for when the drought becomes really bad.
b) If they start the a series of new shows, and then the writers strike ends, then they have a fuck ton of shows and nowhere to put them (until much, much later)
c) TV stations are assholes and hate us having new things.





2: TV stations decide to use this time to repeat TV shows that never got their fair chance. Not only would it be cheaper than getting news shows, but it would also be a chance to educate viewers, thing of it as a ‘Best shows you’ve never seen’ kind of thing. ‘
Personally, I think it could be great, even though anyone who’s anyone has the DVD’s.Imagine seeing Veronica Mars/ Arrested Development/ The Office / Deadwood (FUCK YES!) at a respectable timeslot. Hell, they don’t even have to be that obtuse (even though none of them are very obtuse to begin with), just something that never got it’s fair go.

As much as this one sounds good, I figure it even more unlikely because if TV stations are assholes, than people are the waste disposal unit, willing to take anything given to them. Why waste money explaining to people why the US The Office is just as good as the British one when there According to Jim smugly smiling it’s fat ass off? This brings me to my next point:


3: TV Hell/Purgotry. Like Two and a Half Men? No? Well you will after it’s been shoved down your fucking throat every night for a month (I’m not touching that one with a ten foot pole). Yep, at the end of it you’ll be feeling like Lindsay Lohan (okay, so I lied*, I still you love you Lindsay!)
Seriously though, out of the three doors, unrelenting repeats of Border Security/NCIS/ Law and Order whatever seems like the most likely possibility. I mean, have you seen the ratings for Border Security? Either people are dumb, racist, or totally in love with the sound of Grant Bowlers voice.
That being said, Kane has set a precedent, so let’s hope it continues.

Tomorrow: Heroes roundup. Yep, Kristen Bell, Hayden Panetterie all tied up in Milo V’s emo swipe. Kinky.



*After rereading this three times, it only now dawns on me just how dirty it is.