You know what? This is probably going to be the most emasculated analogy ever, but sometimes I feel like I’m Prison Break’s bitch (not in the more apt Prison sense, in the significant woman sense). See I feel like I have to stick by it, even when it flirts with other women (in this case the woman is a morbidly obese woman called ‘Stupidity’).
But damn it, I’ve had enough (of both the sham marriage and this terrible metaphor...), I’m this damn close to tearing up the Pre-Nup and divorcing Prison Breaks freckled ass.
At this stage it may be perfectly valid to ask just what exactly is going on. As I discussed (with myself…) last week, I felt that Prison Break really needed to live up to its name, lest it became another lie in the guise of a title like Naked Lunch (thanks Simpsons)
. Instead I saw what I felt was 10 minutes of excitement and 70 minutes of contrived and just downright shitty television. I know that’s a pretty big call, and some of it may indeed be based on my preconceived notions of what I thought it should be, but I also think that some was just plain bad.
As you surely know, I really hoped for an escape tonight, and as I said before, the 10 minutes where it appeared like they would escape were really good. Hell, even the episode preceding it wasn’t bad, it’s just everything after that really sucked (insert your own ‘Hey, like after a Honeymoon with attractive yet stupid celebrity’ joke in here. Then smack yourself for being so unoriginal)
The major problem (at least to my admittedly untalented eye) is that Season Three is turning out to be Season 1 lite. And damnit this isn’t ‘Light My Fire’*, you can’t put some Latin overtones to the same old thing and expect us to thank you for it. And yet, Prison Break does this is to us.
Oh look! A token Black dude has joined Schofield’s growing escape entourage. Where have I seen that before? Same with the botched escape attempt. What is is? A maudlin postmodern attempt at self parody (can you notice I just did my Media exam?)? If so, I am not laughing.
In fact I can’t but feel that they are dragging out the plot for too long (again!).
The inclusion of Lechero into the plan is, despite my objections, going to be interesting. Although he’s no longer head of Sona, he still has great knowledge of Sona, something previously lacking among the wannabe escapees. Of course, it’s only a matter of time until he let’s something slip to his serpent T-Bag. From then on I’ll be counting the seconds until Bellick is implicated in the escape plan, especially following his disingenuous tirade about ‘bad people’ towards the end of the show. Poor and out of place character development designed to garner viewer sympathy, or a terrifying glimpse of a Bellick who knits and listens to John Mayer? You be the judge!
I think one of the problems with Prison Break is that the notion of someone ‘not being who they seem’ is entrenched into the shows culture. It not only makes the plot worse, but if anything, it makes the plot more predictable, as viewers become more conditioned to make nothing on face value. You know what would be awesome? If just one character who was introduced was 100% kosher. Not only would it be a surprise to the viewer but it would also steer Prison Break away from a destination renowned for it’s aquatic life. **
The best example to in this episode was the ‘revelation’ that Whistler was not who he seemed, and is (to some degree) in cahoots with crazy bitch whose name escapes me. As stupid as this may be, it at least gives a rational explanation to why Schofield is being given more time to get him out.
The sole exception to the ‘trust nobody’ mantra was the Mahone story which I thought was great, and in which the question of who exactly the viewer should trust was handled perfectly. Mahone’s deeply suspicious drug addled mind is the perfect conduit for a Prison Break viewer, as both of them are highly skeptical of whatever’s going on**. Again, wouldn’t it be nice if the whole plea bargain was legitimate and there were no shady dealings at hand? It was also nice that the whole ‘Sara is dead’ issue resolved, and with considerably less fanfare then I think everybody anticipated.
Also, not to be ‘that guy’ who points out totally fucking stupid plot points, how did
*No disrespect to Jose Feliciano, who is a god. The Doors, eh, not so much.
** Yes, that was a Prison mixed with a boat metaphor. Kind of like if that Oil Rig Prison from Face/Off could move. Coincidently, when the fuck was the last time somebody mentioned Face/Off without the sentence ended with ‘really fucking blew’? Do I win some kind of prize?
***No, I am not implying that the average Prison Break viewer is a drug user, only that they have the IQ of a drug user
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